Yami's Movie Commentary
by Ktkat9
Summary: Yami's friends introduce him to movie nights, and he introduces them to his thoughts on what they choose. One-shot.
1. Chapter 1

On the nights they enough spare time, the gang loved to watch movies. There were several reasons for this. One was that there were a lot of good movies out there, but watching them alone tended to be rather boring. Then there was the excuse to eat junk food and sprawl over the furniture. But a main reason had to be Yami. He was still adjusting to the modern world, and movies were a good way to introduce him to some of the things that had changed since his time. Needless to say, his comments soon became as well known as their movie nights.

Yyyyy

 _Transformers_

"I'm studying to take my driver's test . . . to drive one of _those_? What, pray tell, makes giant war-robots a better means of transportation than a camel?"

Yyyyy

 _Transformers: Age of Extinction_

"Yeah, this series is really action-packed, but am I the only one who thinks it's getting just a bit predictable- _is Optimus Prime riding a transformer dinosaur?!"_

Yyyyy

 _Twister_

 _"We've got debris!" Jo yelled from the cab of the truck._

 _"Debris?!" Bill hollered back, dodging some._

"Flying boats aren't debris. Say 'look out, flying boat' next time."

Yyyyy

 _Minions_

"Wait wait wait. He's king because he pulled a sword out of a rock? He doesn't even speak the language! How is England even still standing?"

Yyyyy

 _Ice Age_

"I'm not even surprised that squirrel's extinct. After going through all that for one meal, I'll be surprised if he makes it to the end of the movie."

Yyyyy

 _Ice Age: The Meltdown_

"Is that the same nut? It is? Where the heck did he find that thing? The Shadow Realm?"

Yyyyy

 _Uncle Buck_

 _"-or your crazy uncle might just shave your head while you sleep."_

"'Crazy uncle' managed to hit himself in the head with a bowling ball, didn't even know their names, thinks they all eat like horses, punched out a clown, and she's scared of what he might do to her _hair_."

Yyyyy

 _Elf_

" _Buddy the elf. What's your favorite color?"_

"Four. Don't look at me like that. It had to be said."

Yyyyy

 _Mask_

"Just to be clear, when I was possessing Yugi, I didn't ran around committing as many crimes as I could."

Yyyyy

 _Dumbo_

"I've never seen an elephant fly either. And why doesn't that crow know how to wear a hat?"

Yyyyy

 _The Wizard of Oz_

"Okay, I'm confused. She said 'somewhere over the _rainbow'_. Since when does a tornado count as a rainbow? Dorothy doesn't look like a storm chaser to me."

Yyyyy

 _Finding Nemo_

" _Coral, no!" Whack!_

"Now you see why I'm not fond of swimming."

Yyyyy

 _We're the Millers_

 _"I can't feel my bingo."_

"Who picked this movie? Joey? Yeah, okay. You're not picking another one for a while."

Yyyyy

 _Men in Tights_

 _"~We're men, we're men in tights~"_

"Yes, I wore a skirt. If you're all quite done laughing, I'd like to finish this movie."

"Absolutely nothing is going to go wrong now. The blind butler can use a sword, so why _not_ put him on lookout duty?"

Yyyyy

 _Christmas with the Kranks_

"~Frosty the snowman, was a horrible, murderous, psycho~ What? Did you all miss the red demon lights in his eyes before he knocked Mr. Krank off the roof?"

Yyyyy

 _Speed_

"Goodbye, public transportation."

Yyyyy

 _Speed 2_

"Finally. People who have worse luck traveling than we do."

Yyyyy

 _Scooby Doo on Zombie Island_

"I wish _we_ had a talking dog on our team. Ow. What was that for, Joey?"

"Do they make a habit of decapitating suspects? Because if so, I can see why they've never video taped themselves solving a crime before this."

"Is it bad that I was somewhat rooting for the cats?"

Yyyyy

 _X-Men_

"There's a school for people like me?"

Yyyyy

 _Airplane_

"Ohh, there is no way you are getting me on another plane."

Yyyyy

 _Scream_

"Perfect timing. She just got killed crawling through a cat door, and you want me to go make popcorn. You know what? All right. I'm a virgin, I've never drunk alcohol or smoked, I'll be fine. _I'll be right back._ "

Yyyyy

 _Bolt_

"If I find any hidden cameras, you're all going to get it."

Yyyyy

 _Super Troopers_

"Next time any of you want to call the law enforcement methods of _my_ time cruel or unorthodox, I want you to remember this."

Yyyyy

 _Ocean's Eleven_

"What? It's true. If we put our minds together, we could do that."

Yyyyy

 _The Mummy_

"Hey, Grandpa. Just out of curiosity, who was the first person to open my box?"

Yyyyy

 _The Mummy 2_

"And because they didn't learn anything from the last movie, they left her brother at home and brought their son."

Yyyyy

 _Zombieland_

"The next person to look at me like that had better get ready to duel for something important. Alright, if you're just going to laugh, I'm pausing this and getting another soda."

Yyyyy

I just had an idea in my head and went with it. Don't forget to drop a review before you go!


	2. Chapter 2

_The Core_

"Exactly how long is he going to roast that fruit?! I get the point! We're all going to die!"

Yyyyy

 _Horton Hears a Who_

"Next on, 'Acid Trip: The Movie'"

"There is a town on that little speck? Why are we watching this right after dusting? Is this why the majority of the youth these days doesn't want to do chores? Because their parents let them watch things like this?"

Yyyyy

Marley and Me

"No, I am not crying. I'm just going to go to my room for a bit."

Yyyyy

 _Bruce Almighty_

"I know I'm still learning about Christianity and all, but that building must be pretty important to have God himself as a janitor."

Yyyyy

 _Inside Out_

"I've had enough experience with people inside my head. Now my emotions have to be split personalities, too?"

Yyyyy

 _The Avengers_

"See, Yugi? It could have been worse. You could have ended up with the Hulk for a partner."

Yyyyy

 _Tarzan_

"Jane is British, right? And Tarzan has only ever been around apes. Is it just me or does he have a different accent?"

Yyyyy

 _The Lion King_

"I'm just saying that I got hit in the head and the clouds suddenly looked like _my_ long-dead father, and he started speaking to me, I'd ignore the singing monkey and sit down for a while."

"You guys deal with the hordes of hyenas, I'll go take care of my scrawny uncle."

Yyyyy

 _Master of Disguise_

 _"Am I not turtle-y enough for the turtle club?"_

"Did his grandfather hire her so she could be his assistant? Or so she could help him tie his shoes?"

Yyyyy

 _Catch Me If You Can_

 _"_ I could do that- _Let go of me!_ I was kidding. I'm not going anywhere."

Yyyyy

 _Pirates of the Caribbean_

"I think that was the greatest swordfight I've ever seen."

"I didn't know cowboys could also be pirates. They weren't? Rewind it. Isn't that a cowboy?"

Yyyyy

 _Monsters Inc._

"Why does she think that's a kitty? I know cats, and that isn't one."

"Don't worry parents. Your child wasn't kidnapped. She just ran after the giant 'Kitty' in her closet because you didn't teach her to be afraid of things that could kill her."

Yyyyy

 _Scooby Doo: Where's My Mummy_

"When's Grandpa's next trip to Egypt? No. No reason. Just curious."

Yyyyy

So, this was going to be a one-shot, but you all seemed to like it, so here's another chapter. Don't forget to review!


	3. Chapter 3

_The Interview_

"I have no idea what any of them just said. And we're _how_ long into this movie? An hour?"

Yyyyy

 _The Heat_

"The next evil villain that tries to take over the world is going to be sorry you let me watch this. Also, if we ever go to America again, we're all going to be on our best behavior."

Yyyyy

 _The Good Dinosaur_

"You're going to have to tell me more about this meteor if it had that big an impact on history. And no, that pun was not intended."

Yyyyy

 _Astro Boy_

"I'm not sure how I feel about those robot fights. With our luck, they'd become the new game of world destruction."

" _I was made ready."_

"He was also made naked. Is he going to put on any clothes?"

Yyyyy

 _The Fast and the Furious_

"I think this was a bad movie to watch before my driver's test."

Yyyyy

 _Furious 7_

"Guys? Why are you crying?"

Yyyyy

 _Finding Nemo_

"Make another Dory comment. I dare you."

Yyyyy

 _Finding Dory_

"Dory gets trails of shells, and I get seven magical items made from an entire town of innocent people. Wonderful."

Yyyyy

 _The Blair Witch Project_

" _What the heck-,_ the power just went out. Are you kidding me?! The storm chooses now to cause a blackout- _whose hand is that?!"_

Yyyyy

 _Mortal Instruments_

"Well. That turned out nothing like the book."

Yyyyy

 _Jumanji_

" . . . I honestly don't know what to say . . . Yugi, once this is over, we're going through those old board games Grandpa thinks we don't know about in the attic."

Yyyyy

 _Mr. Peabody and Sherman_

"Oh, yes. The Sphinx has a hidden door _there_."

Yyyyy

 _Flight of the Phoenix_

"And now they're in _my_ territory. Is it bad that I suddenly feel like laughing maniacally?"

Yyyyy

 _Iron Man_

"Y'know, Tristan, I think you're right. Tony _is_ like an odd meld of Joey and Kaiba- _Ow_! Sorry, Joey."

Yyyyy

 _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_

"Is the only entrance to that wizards' market through that particular alley? Or can I get there from Japan? . . . What do you mean it's not real? Where were you when we got digitized into a videogame run by a twelve-year-olds consciousness?"

I don't watch many movies, so this will be added to in relatively short bursts. Let me know what you thought! Reviews are my inspiration!


	4. Chapter 4

_Cloudy with a Chance_

"That machine would have helped my country long ago. If it hadn't, you know, malfunctioned. Which seems to happen a lot, come to think of it."

Yyyyy

 _Monsters Inc._

"When I was little, I told my father that I was afraid of the thing in my closet. It ended up being a wild jackal someone had locked in there in one of the _least_ thought out assassination attempts the throne had seen. And no, I don't think its name was Randall."

Yyyyy

 _A Bug's Life_

"After seeing that school play, I'm surprised they stuck around at all. 'Thank you for coming to save us! To show our gratitude, our young children will now act out how you each will die in battle. And, no. The blood you see on stage isn't real. We wouldn't want to traumatize the little ones.'"

Yyyyy

 _The Martian_

" . . . Wait. Where are the aliens? I was expecting this movie to have aliens. I mean, he _is_ on Mars, after all."

Yyyyy

 _The Last Days on Mars_

"And here they are! Aliens! See?"

"Zombies. Martian zombies. You know what? I'm still counting them as aliens."

Yyyyy

 _Weekend at Bernie's_

"I think he was better at dealing with the mob dead than he was alive. Maybe they should try that with more members . . . no. I'm not serious."

Yyyyy

 _Rise of the Guardians_

"Who's Sandy's voice actor? Wait a minute, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. I didn't think that through."

Yyyyy

 _Suicide Squad_

"I guess you were right, Tristan. Will Smith really doesn't age. Are you sure he's not using some kind of magic? Is this something we should be keeping an eye on?"

"We should sign Marik and Bakura up for this group. They could be among their own."

Yyyyy

 _Hetalia: Paint It White_

"Wow. America's a badass. I thought you said he was just goofy."

"So, that random guy singing in the alien invasion was . . . Grandpa Rome? You know what? I'm not even going to question it. This is not the best way to learn about what's happened since my time."

Yyyyy

 _High School Musical_

"Oh, school could be so much more fun."

Yyyyy

Let me know if you have any movies (or quotes) you'd like to see! And don't forget to leave a review! :3


	5. Chapter 5

_Forrest Gump_

"Didn't Genie say something like that in Aladdin and the Forty Thieves?"

Yyyyy

 _Cats and Dogs_

"Cats . . . enslaved Egypt. Okay, this movie just lost all the credibility it managed to retain after the animals began speaking and using power tools."

Yyyyy

 _E.T._

"Riding a flying bike over the heads of the cops. That looks like fun. What's that look for, Yugi? I'm not actually going to try it. I need to find an alien, first."

Yyyyy

 _Guardians of the Galaxy_

"Rocket reminds me of someone. Ha! Y'know, I think I'd pay money to see Bakura . . . what was it called? Cosplay? I want to see Bakura cosplay as Rocket now. Joey? Are you okay?! Tristan, I think he's choking!"

Yyyyy

 _The Lorax_

"This is going to give me strange dreams tonight, I just know it."

Yyyyy

 _Scooby-Doo: Pirates Ahoy_

"Yes, Mr. Jones. The ghost pirates kidnapped you thinking you were an Afro photographer so you could tell them where the painting of stars is telling them to go. I like this movie."

Yyyyy

 _Bad Grandpa_

"I don't think I am ever going to use another vending machine again- Oh my Ra! Ouch! That's gotta hurt! Make him stop! I'm leaving the room. Please tell me when he's done."

Yyyyy

 _Twilight_

"Bestiality versus masochism. Oh, I'm sorry. _Werewolf_ or _vampire_."

Yyyyy

 _Frozen_

"Yugi, I'm suddenly wondering why you have so many colors in your hair. I mean, I was born with mine but that was thousands- . . . you dreamed you were kissed by a what? You're staying away from magic from now on."

Yyyyy

 _Zootopia_

"I feel like I should avert my eyes from the yak and elephant, but then again that's how I'm used to seeing animals."

"The sheep. Well. I guess people are always saying it's the quiet ones you have to watch . . . Yes, Yugi. I'm aware that you making that saying true is mostly my fault. You can stop glaring now."

Yyyyy

 _Sister Act_

"A lounge singer on the run from the mob, trying to convince everyone that she's a nun. I don't see this plan going off as smoothly as those cops seem to. Are we _sure_ she's not bait?"

Yyyyy

 _What About Bob_

" _Please_ tell me that that Dr. Leo guy is real. I think we've finally found someone who can help Marik and Bakura."

"Okay, yeah. Never mind. If he couldn't handle Bob, he wouldn't last a day with those two."

Yyyyy

 _Rise of the Guardians_

"He gets ice powers and hundreds of years of freedom, accompanied by a readily given name. Well, other than that, I guess we're not too different. We died protecting something important, joined a group of people centuries later to save the world, and spent most of that time invisible. Either this is a coincidence, or I have a stalker."

Yyyyy

Done! And thank you for your suggestions, everyone! Don't forget to review! I cherish each one I get! :3s


	6. Chapter 6

_Star wars: A New Hope_

"What do you mean, why did I press mute? It's impossible for sound to travel in space. I'm making it realistic."

"Do I really look like a withered green alien to you? I am _not_ Yoda!"

Yyyyy

 _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_

"Pegasus. I can't be the only one who sees it."

Yyyyy

 _The Hills Have Eyes_

"But they're still going to die, right? I mean, they're right back where they started, just without food, water, or shelter since they blew all that up."

Yyyyy

 _Hetalia: Paint It White_

"No! No! Stay away from the pyramids!"

Yyyyy

 _The Amityville Horror_

"They're escaping across the water? Haven't we just spent the whole movie seeing that the lake is also haunted? _Twenty corpses_ were found in it, and- why are they rolling the credits? The guy axed their dog to death and tried to kill his family, they're sitting in the middle of the lake that is _haunted_ , and the key point that is touched upon is that they never returned for their things?"

Yyyyy

 _Poltergeist_

"The only things I'm learning from these movies are to never move into a new house or trust little girls."

Yyyyy

 _The Hunger Games_

"I agree. The future _is_ a terrifying place. I would know."

Yyyyy

 _Teen Titans: The Judas Contract_

"All agreed that Joey is Beast Boy?"

Yyyyy

 _Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs_

"'I'm outta here. This is boring.' 'Wait wait wait! I just got kidnapped by a T-Rex!' You just have to love Sid and Diego."

Yyyyy

 _Gnomeo And Juliet_

"Okay, we all know what the hats represent, what with the whole 'bigger is better' thing. Who else cringed when Benny got his hacked off?"

Yyyyy

 _Dumb And Dumber_

"Have dick will travel. Have no brain… will die soon."

Yyyyy

 _The Fast And The Furious_

" _It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winnings winning."_

"It also doesn't matter if you win by a Kuriboh or a Blue-Eyes."

Yyyyy

 _Skyfall_

"The name's Motou. Yami Motou."

Yyyyy

 _The Hitman's Bodyguard_

"I see this being the outcome of what would happen if Kaiba and Marik were forced to work together."

Yyyyy

 _The Other Side Of The Door_

"I foresee _years_ of child therapy in Lucy's future."

Yyyyy

 _Fanboys_

"Talk about an awkward reunion. 'Hi, how have you been?' 'Dying of cancer. Congratulations on your promotion, by the way.'"

Yyyyy

Late Halloween-ish chapter! Let me know what you all thought! What has been your favorite quote/movie so far? :3


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